Late at night, an isolated farm somewhere way out west...
Boing-oing-oing-oing! Phhht! Didder-didder-didder-didder!...
"Ma! C'mere! I think we got some 'visitors'."
"Not them damn Martians again. I sure ain't getting' probed THIS time, and they tracked a lotta' dirt in the house with all them big long wigglin' toes."
"No ma, I think we got some Tofu Wieners."
"Tofu Wieners?"
[Greetings! Are you vegan? We are vegan. We are tasty. We are tasty! Mmmm. Mmmm. Boing! Boing! Boing! Tasty. Tasty. Tasty!]
"Well, lookee there! All them l'il fellers just hoppin' around. They're so darn cute, I think I'll just try one-" Chomp-chomp-chomp...Gulp!
"Hmm, NOBODY'S gonna' say, 'Tastes like chick-' Argagh-- grumphba..."
"Boy! What's happenin' to you?"
[Mother, I feel, 'different' somehow. More at peace with the world. Do you have some herbal tea? I must read poetry.] "Omigawsh! The tofus got my son's brain!"
Fridge. 3pm. All unlabeled food will be thrown out- even yours (complimentary sharpie & tape provided for your labeling pleasure).
No tofu wieners were harmend in the creation of this email (even though we wanted to).
CRW
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