Death and Death

Attended my first funeral today, and I almost broke down at a couple points during the mass. Almost, but it wasn't anyone I knew, but my friend's mother. Still, for me, the death I think of is Frankie Manning's. Frankie inspired me in a lot of ways. First, in dancing. If I live to be 70, great, but he died two weeks away from his 95th birthday, only having become debilitated a few months ago. How can you complain about that? Lucky Frankie and especially lucky us! That's what I have to say about that.

The funeral I attended was held in the south of England, in a small Catholic church and then we had tea (and a pint) in a hotel restaurant. I walked back to our flat alone along the beach. The sky, pale blue with clouds drifting by, and the aquamarine water, calm and flat reflecting the white light of a still winter sun.

I was touched by so many things about the funeral, about the depth of feeling that people showed toward Doreen, about the short but poignant speech my friend gave, and about the ritual of the mass, and the wake following.

I just accompanied my friend, to help her weather the storm of loss and circumnavigate some of the rocky relations of her family. Still, it was quite an adventure for me. But eventually I started feeling odd-man out, and so I took my walk.

London Lindy Exchange is "Strict"

I danced with a girl from the Netherlands named Tinka.
I can't actually tell you where I stayed last night. I want to, but I promised, so I can't.
And I had a funny conversation with a German lady about how "strict" this lindy exchange was. I made her say "strict" like five times because she had a way of making the word sound, well, just the opposite of strict. She kinda caught on and wouldn't say it again. Oh well.
I snuck in, my wristlet held together by a mere blob of chewed bubble-gum. It was so wrong it felt right. Still I bought a shirt just to prove I made it.
I am in London escorting a friend to a funeral, so this was a taste of sanity for me. A live band and sweaty people jamming to the music. I feel so lucky about just being alive when I'm on the dance floor. Damn, it's only 9am, but it's 1am back in San Francisco. I can't sleep anymore. I should, but I can't.

Script Frenzy

I am going to take a hiatus from my blog (maybe) to write a script this month. It's my first script. It's going to be crap, but really healthy good crap.

www.scriptfrenzy.org

Posty Post

This is my post for today. I don't have much to say, and I don't believe in posting for posting's sake, because it's inane. Nobody wants to read about the weather, or your dog, or how you trimmed your nails to day, or how you hate your nanny. They might want to read about your sex life IF it's interesting and IF you're attractive and post a picture or you're a really good writer or something like that, but then again, you'd be talking about your sex life. No. I don't think I'm up for that.

It's not that what I write has to be pleasing to anyone else, it's just that if it's that banal, then it's like saying back to myself, "Blah, look at my boring life." I don't need that. I don't need to reflect that back to myself. I need to inspire and be inspired. That's the gig.

Talking to my brother in Thailand was depressing. He is really amazing. He is doing so much to help people. He is amazingly smart. I am not. He calls me from Thailand. I avoid people. He cares about people deeply. I, I am not like that, but I say I do. It really exposes all the things I'd like to be, all the ways I'd like to see myself, and can, as long as I don't talk to my brother who is really generous and caring and smart. Damn him! I'm no bully but if I saw him in the hall at school, I might have tripped him. If he wasn't my big brother. Maybe, maybe I still would.

I just read Island of the Blue Dolphins last night. I read the whole damn thing! It was amazing! The only bad thing about that book is that it's required reading in California public schools. That will pretty much ruin the experience of even the best of books.

It is my father's birthday today. Just to mess him up, I'm actually going to call him today, and wish him a happy birthday. I hope he appreciates it! It's going to take some of my cell minutes. There's no way around it. Ah, my Dad, what an amazing guy, whom I used to think was not such an amazing guy. Well, that's another post.